Even Though
by Princess Tyler Briefs
Summary: [KakaIruKaka Chapter 2 of 2] Kakashi and Iruka write letters to each other, explaining that the love each other in spite of their faults.
1. Kakashi

**A/N:** Um…I read somewhere that Iruka is always portrayed as just next to perfect, and I realized that they were right in some ways. My own personal excuse is that my fics usually have a Kakashi-filter. Anyway, this one is Kakashi pointing out to Iruka that yes, he's not perfect, but that's okay.

Sort of a companion piece to 'Only You' but not really. You can read one without the other just fine.

Oh! And the singing part! For those who don't know, the Japanese voice actors for Iruka and Kakashi sing two duets that I know of and they're absolutely amazing. Look up **_Furigana_** and **_You're The One_** on Youtube. Look for KakaIru videos by Karuka Ikashi and Irukasenseii. You'll see what I mean!

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Even Though…  
_By: Reggie  
Chapter 1/2_

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My Precious One,

You asked me this morning why I loved you. You admitted to me that you aren't perfect, and are in fact far from it, before asking me once more. I couldn't answer you, not because I didn't have an answer but because I didn't know which one to say. I could see you were hurt. You left to quickly for me to explain.

I have a mission, and I have to go, but I won't- I can't- leave this until I get back. Instead, you're getting this letter tucked neatly into your grade book. It was kind of you to leave it out at lunch for me to stick this in on my way out of town. Yes, I'm voluntarily giving you black mail material. You should feel honored.

Perfect was never on my list of things I wanted in a life-partner. Yes, I had a list. …You can stop laughing now. Everyone has lists, 'Ruka. I'm sure you had one too. Or do you still have one?

No, I did not just make myself nervous with that thought.

Anyway, perfect wasn't one of the requirements. Seriously, how boring would it be if the person I spent the rest of my life with was always exactly the same. If they were everything I wanted, dreamed of, and never ever changed from that. There would be no surprise, no reason to want anything from them. You know me, Ru; I'm a genius and thus easily bored without something to catch my interest.

Which is why I love you. Because you and all your good qualities and all your faults are interesting.

I love you because you're cute when you blush. When that pink-tinge touches your cheeks and you look down in just the right way, you're positively irresistible.

I love you even though you know this, and exploit that advantage terribly, you manipulative little bastard.

I love you because you're so kind hearted, and want to look after everyone in the village. You're like the third Hokage that way. You want a family so badly; you'll do anything to make them love you.

I love you even though I'm not the only one in your heart and never can be. Even though you're so insecure about yourself that you need constant reminders. I'm eager to please of course, sensei!

I love you even though you lose yourself, sometimes, in the dreams and desires of others. Your students' dreams are your dreams, and sometimes your blinded to not see what they want, what you want, and what is actually good for them. You forget your own dreams, what you want.

Being selfish isn't always bad, and you've proven to me that being selfless to an extreme isn't all that great either. It hurts you, and I hate it for that. But not you. You aren't the same as your actions, Ru, in spite of what you think. So there.

I love you because you try so hard to find the good in everyone. Even people like me, who don't have all that much good left to find. You dive deep to find, and will find it.

I love you even though that ability makes you a terrible shinobi. Don't look so hurt, Iruka, it's true. And it isn't, necessarily, a bad thing. There are other things to be besides a shinobi. Human, for example.

I love you because you can always smile. Even when it hurts. Even when you're smiling for others and not for yourself. You have a wonderfully infectious smile, Iruka, which has the uncanny ability of reminding people that life does go on and will get better before the end. I can't tell you how many times I've remembered your smile (I memorized it with my Sharingun- HA- you can scold me later) just get me through mission.

I love you even though you smile when it hurts. Even though you're smiling because everyone else needs you to and not because you want to. For those of us who know you best, it almost hurts when you smile and don't mean it. When your eyes remain sad. Because even though you're reminding us, we can't quite figure out how to remind you.

I love you because you're strong. Yes, yes you are. Yes. No, Iruka, you can't argue with me on this one. I know you're strong. How do I know that? Because you're still here. Because you still laugh, and smile, and live, Iruka. I know shinobi of ranks much higher than yours who have suffered less than you have that have broken irrevocably. It's not about the physical strength.

Besides that, you're a badass tactician with a great deal of focus. Beat that!

No, I didn't just stick my tounge out at you, either.

I love you even though you can't let go. No, I'm not one to talk. But, Ruki-chan, you can't forget that I. Know. You. I do. I know you get off from working at the mission room at four. I know you never get home before six. I know you go to the memorial stone every evening and spend two hours there. If you make other plans, or something delays you, you go when it's done for two hours no matter how late it is.

You're just as bad as I am; only you do it after your day is done and not before it gets started.

I know that you talk to them, and that every damn day you apologize for not being strong enough. I don't know who you're talking to, whether it's your parents or others, but I do know that blaming yourself everyday and reliving your mistakes every day isn't healthy.

Just look at me.

I love you because you're my light in the world, and my darkness to. You have your demons, just like everyone else, but you've learned how to push them away when you need to. I've never managed that. Not really. That's why I wear my mask, you know.

I've seen you cry yourself to sleep, I've seen you laugh yourself silly, and I've seen cry and laugh at the same time. All in the same week. You have the emotional elasticity of a rubber band you know.

I love you even though you can't cook. And you can't cook. I really wish you'd just surrender that fact and stop trying. You're going to poison yourself one of these days when I'm not there to save you, and THEN what will you do?

I love you because you can sing. You've got an amazing voice, really. Mine isn't bad, but yours…is so sweet. And mellow. And so cute.

I love you even though you are the most ridiculously OCD shinobi I've ever met. And that's saying something. Honestly, Iruka, your toothbrush can face the wall instead of the sink and the world will keep going. Seriously! I kid you not. And don't you think washing the inside of my sandals with bleach once a week is going just the tiniest bit over board?

Yes, I know you do it. Well, the smell of bleach is a dead give away, as is the fact that they're fading. Honestly, Ruki-koi, bleach?

I love you because you smell like pine trees and honey. I love you because you have passion. I love you because you look so cute when you're eating ice cream. I love you because you're the most talent partner I've ever had in bed (again, saying something, and if a student read that I'm going to have to kill you before you kill me for letting them see this letter). I love you because you're brown everywhere. I love you because my constant use of nicknames confuses you. I love you because your sexy and you know it but only flaunt it as a last resort. I love you because you love life.

I love you even though you get angry over the stupidest things. Yes, I still think you're fury and me turning down a mission on your birthday is stupid. It's a sweet gesture, damn it! I love you even though you can be stubborn beyond reason and are impossible to argue with when you think your right. It's terribly irritating, that. I love you even though you love everything- including me- too much. Too hard. Like we're going to leave you any second. I love you even though you're not above with holding sex from me as punishment. That's just low, you know. And womanish. I love you even though you don't always seem to understand me in the way I wish you would (though I do love you because most of the time you understand me better than anybody else). I love you even though you will flaunt your sexiness when you have to. I love you even though you're a hopeless romantic.

…Says the one writing the sappy love letter…yes you can laugh at the irony, it's okay.

In short, Ruru-kun, what I'm trying to say is that I love you because you are and even though you are you. Just like I hope you do me. Although, for me I think, the even though comes first. And is bolded.

You're my Iruka and I do love you. Love your good things, love your bad, love the ones in between. Love the things that can be good or bad depending on the day. Love your eyes, love your nose, love your scars, love your soul.

Did I miss anything? I love anything I missed too. Including your toes.

I'll see when I get back; Ruka-Ru, and I can show you just how much I love you.

No! Don't crumble the note; you'll want it later! See you do. I know you do. If only so you can hold it over my head in the future.

Forever yours, Iruka mine,

Kakashi


	2. Iruka

**A/N:** Yay, Iruka finally gets a chance to speak! Heh, poor flustered 'Ruka-Ru.

Egad, the problem with writing these is that now I want to write one-shots of some of the events they mention to each other. Gah! Bad plot bunnies! Go away! Go bug someone else.

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Even Though  
By: Reggie  
Chapter 2/2

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Kakashi mine,

I want so badly to be angry with you right now. You had time to take a detour to the academy, break in to my classroom, leave a note in my freaking grade book, but you couldn't take a moment while you were here to find me and tell me you're going? I could pound your face in with a ruler right this minute, I really could!

Except…except I can't seem to make myself be angry about it. Why? Because every time I do I can just hear you saying 'this is another one of those stupid small things, Iruka', and I can see your hurt face because it was sweet of you to write a note like that and we promised we'd never say good-bye anyway because we're both sick of good-byes, and then I'm just not angry anymore.

Stupid, stupid, Jounin pointing out the stupid flaws in their stupid lovers who can't ever seem to be good enough for their stupid Jounin but the stupid Jounin don't care which makes the stupid lover even more stupid because they do.

Yes, there are far too many stupids in that sentence, thank you for pointing that out. I'll be sure to expound my vocabulary when I have time between fixing all my faults. And I will be fixing them. You may not want someone perfect now, but you implied you would like him or her to grow that way, didn't you?

Although, to be fair, Hatake "the Mighty" Kakashi, you aren't exactly perfect yourself. For starters, you nag me about my own low self-esteem but you're the first to point out all your own faults and shortcomings. You refuse to see how good you are. So, just to spite you, I'm going to copycat the copy-nin. You're getting your own letter, love, to treasure forever.

Though, if I find you're using it as a bookmark in Icha Icha you won't have any Icha Icha to mark, got it?

There are many things you do wrong, Kakashi. You always forget things. Not just big things like birthdays and anniversaries, although you do. A planner wouldn't hurt you, you know. You could even hide it in Icha Icha if you'd like. You're also terrible at remembering the little things. Like turning off the stove. Like making dinner when you say you will. Like wiping your shoes on the mat outside before stepping into the house, or cleaning up the messes you make while 'cleaning'. Or keeping my slippers away from your dogs- you still owe me a new set, by the way- or how to ask me BEFORE you decide to move in.

Even though realizing you had moved in was kind of cute. Waking up to find your stuff scattered all over my house was very subtle. I still wished you would have asked me first. I'm the one that gave you the key, remember? It's not like I would have said no.

But, 'Kashi, the little things you do remember are so sweet. Like the note. Like bringing me my bento when I forget it, or massaging my neck after a long day of teaching. Like making sure the sheets are warm before I climb in, and taking our relationship slow when I asked you to. I love you because you remember the little things that matter the very most; I love you even though you forget the big ones and small ones- that don't matter as much but still MATTER- equally.

Another terrible fault you have is that you have never mastered the art of listening. Sometimes I know that you hear what I'm saying, but if that genius brain of yours actually understood a word of it I'd be surprised. I suppose this one isn't always your fault. Sometimes your brain is just going too fast to process all the information around you, and my babbling about my day just gets shifted down the priority list.

Sometimes it is your fault. If you pull that covering your ears and repeatedly saying 'I don't have to listen to this, I'm a Jounin' trick again, there will be nasty things in your future. I don't care if you think it's another one of those stupid things to get angry over. I don't appreciate being reminded that you don't have to listen to me because I'm just a Chuunin thanks.

…Now you're feeling guilty, aren't you? You want to find me right this minute and explain that you didn't mean it that way. That you've never, ever, thought of me as below you, or that I'm not worth listening too because I'm just a chuunin. You love the fact that I'm a chuunin, have told me several times that this wouldn't work if I was Jounin because you'd worry about me too much, and you've told me and told me that I have all power over you regardless of ranks so it doesn't matter.

I know all this, 'Kashi, but it still hurts. Hurts to know that, as far as everyone else is concerned, I'm not good enough for you. I'm not powerful, I'm not strong, and I'm not smart like you are. In fact, compared with you I'm a weak clumsy idiot and it hurts to know that that is how everyone else sees me. It hurts more when you tease about it, even when it is just teasing, because if you ever saw me that way I don't know what I'd do.

It doesn't seem so stupid now, does it? You can be so insensitive sometimes, you jerk.

I still love you though. Mustn't forget that part. Because you're awfully sweet when you're making your insensitivities up to me. Like that time you ordered my favorite sweets from Rain Country. Or when you substituted my class- sweet, but never happening again. Some kids are still recovering from the trauma. My personal favorite is when you got all the Jounin to agree that I was the cutest chuunin of the year.

Do you remember that, 'Kashi? How, in the beginning of our relationship, you were nervous about public displays of affection. I'm still not sure why, though I'm sure it makes perfect sense in that twisted head of yours. I was insulted. I thought you were ashamed to be seen with me. To ease my hurt feelings, you got them all to officially decide that. Genma told me that some of the threats you used were particularly creative, and they were all confused as to why it was so important to you until you kissed me in public that first time.

No, I didn't just sigh like a girl.

And now I can't get you to stop kissing/groping/molesting me in public. Kami-sama, what kind of monster did I create?

Although…Kakashi…if you ever kissed anyone else, I think I would die inside. I'm not sure when, or how, or even why you've become the center of my world, but you are. You're my everything. If I ever lost you, I don't know what I would do.

You are mine, and I am yours.

Even though you're late. Even though you're lazy. Even though you're sadistic sometimes. Even though you're a terrible artist. Even though you're broken in many places. Even though you're proud. Even though you're stubborn. Even though you're never going to grasp social subtleties. Even though you have a temper to match mine, and can be ruthless when I manage to set it off. Even though you're not afraid of death. Even though you sometimes smell like wet dog.

Because you're loyal. Because you're sweet. Because you're as much a hopeless romantic as I am, even if you are in the proverbial closet. Because you worry about me. Because you're really a kid at heart. Because you're a thoughtful lover. Because you sucked at kissing at first, but learned to be better because you wanted me to love you. Because you love me even though you're afraid to. Because you were afraid to. Because you always remember the things I like best. Because you have this infuriating way of being yourself even when you're hiding. Because you have adorable puppy dog eyes. Because you can make me beg you for the world. Because you would give me the world if you could.

Because you love me, in spite of me.

You've become so much a part of me by now, that I'm not always sure where I end and you begin. Do you ever have the problem, 'Kashi? Telling the difference between what you want, and what I want? I suppose it doesn't matter, when we really want the same thing. To be together, always.

I think I stopped making sense about three paragraphs ago, so I'm going to stop before you fall asleep. After all, I did leave this under your pillow for you to find as soon as you got home. I'm sure you're fairly comfortable now.

I left you some food in the fridge; go heat it up before you sleep. I'd rather come home to a well fed and just tired Kakashi then one that looks like he needs my attention. Though you'll have it, you always do.

I'll be home at five thirty. Don't stay awake for me. I'll wake you up when I get there, I promise.

All my love, forever,

Iruka


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